My Life with Pets

Today I was watching an Oprah rerun.  It was an episode I heard about when it originally aired and I really wanted to see it, but I’d missed it.  It was about animals–how smart they are, how they communicate, what they can learn, and a couple of feel good stories for good measure regarding their companionship with humans.  And, I most definitely cried during some of the more heartfelt stories.  Not all that shocking because I hold a special place in my heart for animals. 

When I was a kid, I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian because of my intense love for animals.  My grandma lived in Mississippi and always had a ton of animals on her property including cows, horses, goats, chickens, a rumored alligator and a fox or two.  And of course cats and dogs.  But, I remember one particular cow that I spent hours with trying to get it to trust me enough so that it would take the feed directly from my hand.   I would make a lot of progress, get to the point where I thought it was just about to eat from my hand and then someone would come out and tell me lunch was ready or some other comment, and the cow would get nervous all over again.  Finally, I got it to trust me enough to eat from my hand. 

Growing up we always had animals at our house too.  We had cats, dogs, hamsters, ducks, turtles, frogs, rabbits, and of course some fish.  But we didn’t have all of these at the same time.   I’m pretty sure we asked our parents for a new pet monthly.   Most of the time they said no, but every once in a while we would break them down and they would say yes.  Then we’d spend some time contemplating names for our new pets.  My brother was the youngest and would often come up with what we considered ridiculous names, like toothpaste.   We still make fun of him for that.

So now we have our pets.   Sean says they lucked out big time since we picked them from the shelter.  Molly has what you might call a wee bit of an anxiety problem, and we work with her to ease it.  She’s also the smartest dog I’ve ever had.  And Belle came from a high kill shelter.  And now they get to things like this with their white lab friend:

So, this was my long-winded way of saying if you’re contemplating a new pet, I highly recommend getting a rescue.  They are the sweetest, snuggliest pets!

The Truth About Gifts

So I feel like I’ve been talking a lot about presents lately, and I’m sorry.  But, it’s almost Christmas, so this will soon be over.  Anyway, I’m really impatient when it comes to most things.  This is a trait that’s not so endearing, and when it comes to giving gifts I’m impatient about that too.  Meaning that if I buy someone a gift and I see them before Christmas, I’m probably going to make them open it.  I get so excited about seeing them open something I hope they’ll like that I just can’t wait.   And, the same is true if they have a gift for me before Christmas and I know about it.  I REALLY want to open it.   So basically this is my long way of saying that Sean and I already exchanged presents because I couldn’t wait–both to give and receive. 

He was super excited about his guitar.  He immediately started playing it, and I think I’ve heard it everyday since.  I’m not complaining either.  I love to see him enjoying what I got him.  So then it was time for me to open mine.  I had no idea what it was. 

Well, I rip open the package and pull out a little necklace.  Oh, and we had a budget for presents this year, and I knew he’d spent close to the maximum of our budget for this necklace.  Now, here’s a backstory…I had this little dainty gold heart necklace that I loved.  I wore it almost everyday and I recently lost it.  I’ve been going on and on about this necklace.  I knew this was Sean’s way of replacing it.  He even wrote a little note to say how he hoped this heart necklace would be my new favorite.   It was so sweet. 

But, I knew it wasn’t going to be my favorite.  And, in a span of about 3 seconds I either had to feign joy over my new necklace, or tell him the truth and risk hurting his feelings.   I knew that he was trying SO hard to pick out something I liked, but I didn’t like it.  I also knew that he’d spent a decent amount of money.  Ugh.  I decided to be honest and tell him that although it was pretty, it wasn’t really my style.  I felt awful about it.  He seemed upset at first, but then he told me that he understood and would prefer for me to have something that I like.  Phew! 

Although I felt really bad telling him I didn’t like what he picked out, I was so glad that I was honest.  What do you do when someone gives you a gift that isn’t your ideal?  Are you honest, or do you act like you love it?

Baby Shower

So, I’m pretty sure I mentioned that my sister is pregnant, but I don’t think that I mentioned its with a baby boy!!  We are super excited!!  I have 2 wonderful nieces, but no baby nephew, so this is big news.  Anyway, it’s hard to believe that her due date is just around the corner, March 3rd.  Which means that it’s time to get serious about the baby shower.  I recently started looking for inspiration for a theme and I’ve come away with two ideas: elephants and tricycles.  This could only be surpassed by elephants on tricycles.  Ok, that’s probably lame.  But, I am having a hard time deciding between the two ideas, so I need your help.  Here are some of the tricycle inspiration ideas courtesy of Style Me Gorgeous:

In addition to the tricycle theme, she also added some alphabet themed items:

And adorable kid-inspired favors:

Cute, right?  I always loved anything with a vintage bicycle, so obviously I was going to be on board with the tricycle.  But, then I saw the elephant, also from Style Me Gorgeous and now I’m not sure what to do:

Hello, did you see that candy buffet?  I die.  Well, she had more:

And, if you’re not feeling cuteness overload with elephants, what about this invite from Rock Paper Scissors:

It mixes another one of my favorite things, bunting. 

So what do you think?  Do you like the elephants or the tricycles?

Loving Infomercial Products

That’s right, I’m not above the “As Seen on TV” products, in fact, I really want one.  Am I embarrassed to admit this to you guys?  Yep, but hopefully you all will be equally excited about a cleaning tool and we can bond over it. 

So, my sister is moving into a new house, and it wasn’t left as clean as she would like.  Over the past couple of days, she’s been cleaning like crazy to get ready to move in.  I know that can be tedious and well, boring, but you feel so much better when it’s done.  But, usually there is some grossness or grime left behind that you just cannot get rid of.  Well, she told me about this Sonic Scrubber thing she is using that works so well.  And now I’m obsessed.  I need one. 

I know that it looks strikingly similar to a bright orange toothbrush, but stay with me here.  It has different scrubbing heads you can change out for different types of cleaning jobs and an angled head so you don’t bang your knuckles.   And, out of 35 reviewers, 28 of them gave it 4 stars or better. 

I know you’re wondering if I have one of these.  Well, I don’t .  I’m going solely off what my sister and the reviewers online said.  But, now I can’t wait to get one and try it out.  What infomercial products do you love or want to try?

Presents

So Black Friday and Cyber Monday have come and gone and I only purchased one present.  Last year I bought so many things on those 2 days I was nearly done with my shopping, but this year the sales just didn’t entice me.  And, I’m still struggling with what to get everyone.  My siblings and I talked about going for quality over quantity this year, meaning that if we are interested in one expensive present, maybe we can all just go in one it.  I think that’s a great idea because I have several expensive items I’m pining for right now.  They include:

A DSLR camera:

I’ve wanted a new camera for some time now.   I know you’ve heard me mention this before, and my desire for a new camera has only intensified.  I’ve seen several Groupons for photography classes too, but I’ve held off on buying one because I didn’t want to learn anything else on my point and shoot, I want to step it up. 

A new light fixture:

Again, I’ve wanted this light fixture for a while.  I’ve seen it in the dining room of a few bloggers, and I’m in love.  I have the perfect spot for it, now I just need the new fixture. 

A Dyson:

Um, enough said.  Who doesn’t want a Dyson?  Sean even wants this present.  We had one momentarily, and I remember thinking it was pretty good, but not realizing just how good it was until it was gone.  Now that I don’t have it, I weep whenever I vacuum.  Ok, not really, but basically I go over the same spot over and over only to then pick up the item that my vacuum is unable to get.  Vacuuming sucks.  I know this would be remedied by the Dyson.  We might even fight over who gets to vacuum.  Probably not, but like I said might. 

A chair (hopefully we could then get rid of some of our living room furniture)

It’s just so cute, and the print is perfect.  It would go so well with the couch that I eventually want to get.  I’m worried Target will stop carrying them before I’m ready with my new couch, so it’s on the list, though I’m not sure I’m ready for it just yet. 

Now that I’ve written this post, I feel like a huge jerk because my plan when I sat down to write was to talk about the present I want to get for Sean.  But, somehow it turned into everything I want.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be back with my gift idea for Sean.  I need some advice, and since he doesn’t read the blog, I can tell you all what I’m getting him!

What’s on your wish list this year?

Homie Said What?

So a couple of months ago I went to my doctor for a check up.  I took the opportunity to talk about preparing to go off the pill and to ask about what I needed to do to be sure my body was good and healthy for when we wanted to try to have a baby.  He muttered something about prenatal vitamins, vaccines, checking for immunity to german measles, the dentist and a high protein diet.  High protein?  Um…I’m vegetarian. 

Not that I don’t get a fair amount of protein, but I wouldn’t call what I have a high protein diet.  So, I asked him what he considered high protein and what special considerations I needed to make since I was a vegetarian.  You want to know what his first comment was?  “You might want to rethink that whole vegetarian thing.”  Now, if this was my friend, or just a casual conversation with a coworker I would have blown it off, but this was my mother effing doctor.  Rethink my non-dangerous lifestyle? I thought it was pretty crappy.  But instead of getting angry, I asked him again what high protein meant.  He said 50 grams a day. And then he asked me if I ate things like tofu, eggs, and beans.  Yes, yes and yes.  So he changed his story and said, “Well,  if you’re eating things like that, you should be totally fine.”  What did he think I was doing?  Chowing down on just lettuce every meal?  Clearly he should have asked me these questions before jumping to conclusions. 

I was just turned off by the whole thing, and I grew increasingly more annoyed as the day went on, which of course meant that I was no longer in his office to say anything.  I’m not planning on switching doctors, but hopefully he’ll be more thoughtful next time.

Garage Sale

So, I was bragging about my bargain weekend yesterday, but what I didn’t tell you is where I found everything.  Well, a local non-profit in Austin, the Settlement Home, has an annual garage sale to raise money.  And, this is like no garage sale I’ve ever been to.  People come in droves looking for a sweet deal in the huge convention center type location the sale is held.  They have a wide variety of items to choose from, but my eye was on the furniture.  Within 5 minutes of being there, I found something I wanted.  But, I get anxious in new situations and I wasn’t really sure how it all worked, so I milled around for a while before I finally got the courage to go up to one of the volunteers to let her know that I wanted to buy something, and to ask her what the process was.   She wrote my name on the ticket and told me I had one hour to pay for it before it would be back on the market.  Phew!  That was easy enough.  So what did I find?

This (don’t mind Molly’s tail in the corner of the picture):

For $25!  Score! I was hoping to find more chairs to complete my dining room vision, but there wasn’t anything else I wanted.  Until I found the best find there, my brand new hutch!  I’ve been lusting after 60’s style furniture for a while now.  I’m always on the hunt for a dresser that fits this image, and finding something for my nearly empty dining room was even better.  When I flipped over the price tag, I was shocked.  $40??  Seriously?  That’s it?? For this?  I had to leave it momentarily to make sure it was ok to buy.  I was terrified that some vulture was going to swoop in and steal it from me, and Sean was in the book section.  I tried calling him on his cell phone, but no luck.  So, I took my chances and walked off to get him.  Not even 60 seconds later, I walked back to a lady buzzing around the hutch.  No!!  But, thankfully she walked away.  Sean went and flagged someone down to let them know we wanted to buy it.  While he was gone, that same lady came back and was really disappointed that we were buying it because she was just about to do the same. 

Ok, so enough chatter, here it is:

It has regular sets of drawers on each side, but the middle opens up a little differently:

I decided it’s a good spot to store wine:

Ok, so the question is, do I paint it?  Initially, I thought there was no way I was going to have it sit in my house as it was, but once I got it in, I thought it looked pretty good on its own.   If I were to paint it, I was considering grey.  I still want to do a wallpaper wall behind it.   So I’m conflicted.  What do you think?

Craigseasy

So, this weekend I stumbled on something that I wish was created years ago.   Craigseasy, I love you.  Basically, I spend hours searching on craigslist for furniture, pets, or just other items I didn’t know I needed until I see them.  But, it takes forever to click on each of the individual posts, and I end up getting carpal tunnel or getting discouraged quickly and quit.  Which sucks because I always read blogs where people find these amazing things on craigslist, so I know they’re on there, I just don’t have the patience. 

Ok, so how does it work?  Well, you grab the easy button from Craigeasy and save it to your favorites, go to craigslist, search for whatever you want, and then click on that easy button from your favorites.  It automatically directs you to a new page where all you see are the titles and images of what’s in each of the listings. 

Here are a couple of screen shots:

Now I don’t have to click on a link only to get pissed off that I was tricked by the title.  Too many times I’ve clicked on a link advertising a farmhouse table, and I find something like this that, well, isn’t at all what I’m looking for:

 I don’t think that I’ll ever go back to the old way.  I only wish I had this when I was single and searching for apartments several years ago.

The Next Great American Blog Post

 Here is a guest post from my brother, the only person I know that is able to work Justin Bieber into a wedding toast.  Yes, it was ours. 

Hello, my name is Barrett and I’m Kelsey’s brother.  I’ve been briefly mentioned on here before.  To my knowledge, this is the first time Kelsey has invited anyone to do a guest post, although it’s unclear whether or not a gay middle-aged man occasionally ghostwrites for her. 

 She’s given me free reign to write what I please which to her credit, is harder than it looks.  After scrapping a couple of overly ambitious ideas, I just googled “writing topics” and started answering questions from the first topic that came up.  Today’s exercise was actually intended for 1^st graders, but at least I didn’t go through with my original plan–just filling out a Mad Lib and dropping that on you guys.  Without further ado…

A Special Birthday… 

Just had one of those last month and this year’s was particularly exceptional because so many people wished me happy birthday.  That got me feeling like I had just tried heroin for the first time.  I was delighted to the point that I realized if I was a girl with low self-esteem, I would just fake a Facebook birthday every few weeks or so.  That way I could benefit from all the well wishers, and in turn feel good enough about myself that I could avoid becoming slutty.  I really hope I have a daughter so I can enrich her with life lessons such as this one. Well, here’s to another great year…or few weeks until I have a Facebook birthday all over again!  

I’d Like to See… 

One of my farts go unnoticed by my girlfriend (I’m sure she hopes for the same).  The other day, we were watching Seinfeld and I thought surely I could sneak one in during the interlude music.  “Bum bum bah duh dum dum da da duh LPHHH bumm.”  Her eyes immediately darted over at me and I tried to do the whole “What?  It was the music thing!” to no avail.  This happens at least once a week day. 

The Biggest Thing I Ever Saw…

 The collapse of the Dallas Cowboys 2010 season 😦

(A good team-prophesying joke I heard a few weeks ago…What’s the difference between Tony Romo and Lindsay Lohan?  Only Lindsay Lohan has a decent line in front of her right now.  ZING!  Get well Antonio.) 

I like to make…

Sure that I watch all sequels and prequels to a movie before seeing the one that’s currently in theatres, regardless of how much buzz or popularity it has.  That’s why I haven’t gone to see Jackass 3-D yet, I never saw Jackass 2 so I don’t want to be confused about anything in the plot.  Luckily my mother is an English professor so maybe I’ll ask her if this is ever a good idea, like maybe she saw Hamlet 3 before Hamlet 2 or something. (There was sequels to Hamlet right?)  

What if toys could talk?

How do we know they can’t already?!?!  As far as I know Mythbusters on the Discovery channel hasn’t disproved this yet.  Until Savage and Hyneman tell me otherwise, I’ll continue to believe pretty much anything. 

I’m happy when … 

The holidays come of course.  The only thing that’s kind of a boner killer is that my current boss is…wait for it…wait for it…JEWISH!  OMG, RIGHT?!?!  And look, I’m no Mel Gibson, Jewish people are totally fine by me, I bet I would even love Gefilte Fish.  My only issue is that when late afternoon rolls around on Christmas Eve, guess who is still at the office?  THIS GUY!  The way I see it, Jesus was without a doubt the crunkest Jew ever, I don’t know why we all can’t celebrate his birthday.  (I have Jesus as my #1 Jew, followed by Julio Iglesias at #2.  International singer AND former Real Madrid Goalkeeper?  Now that is a true Hebrew Hammer!) 

Friendly places

I find that most places that smell nice, I’ll automatically assume are friendly.  That’s why I want to change my NAME to a scent.  You know how Prince changed his name to a Symbol?  What if I just had a bottle of spray and some little cards and every time somebody asked my name, I’d just spray the card and hand it to them?  Would this work?  AND DID I JUST BLOW YOUR EFFING MIND?!?! 

 I know a lot about . . .

R. Kelly.  I’m sorry, but I do.  If you haven’t seen all 83 minutes and 57 seconds of Trapped in the Closet you really need to.  That film changed the way I look at the world, and frankly, closets. 

Who’s at the zoo?

Mostly just mouth breathers.  I hate the zoo.  It’s so sad to see the animals doing hard time and the amount of heat and people drive me crazy.  Every time I go to the zoo I feel like grabbing a can of whipped cream and doing whip-its until I pass out. 

What will I share?

 I don’t know, but hopefully it’s not another “social disease”.  That reminds me, not only was last month my birthday but it also featured Chlamydia Monday and I came away very disappointed that not ONE person remembered to wish me a “Happy Chlamydia Monday.” 

 I rode on a . . .

Rhyme train into this world.  I have a rap group, and we’re called The Rhymelich Maneuver. © Do whatever you want with that information. 

 The parade

No!  I have not once helicoptered my weiner for beads at a St. Patrick’s Day Parade, okay?!?!

 I wonder why . . .

New York Time’s Best Seller and one of Time Magazine’s 100 most influential people, Malcolm Gladwell, had such a disturbed look on his face when I met him at a conference earlier this summer.  I tried to break the ice by saying that “I heard it was between you and Lindsay Lohan to be the keynote speaker at this conference but she had another commitment.” 

 Goodbye…

 I think that’s going to do it for me.  Please leave Kels some positive feedback if you care to hear from me again.  Enjoy your week!

Slumber Parties

So, I haven’t been to a slumber party since junior high, but I always loved them.  Nothing was more fun than packing up my kaboodle and pjs and heading to a friend’s house.  You knew you would stay up late, play some pranks, watch scary movies, make each other over and eat lots of junk food.  It’s pretty much what I would still love to do on the weekends if anyone was interested. 

Source

Well, turns out some people are still interested.  Next weekend I’m having a slumber party with several of my friends!  No boys allowed either.  We’re breaking out our ouija boards and sleeping bags and heading over to my friend Monica’s house.  We’ve all been trying to reminisce about some of our favorite slumber party games.  My favorites were always the scary games.   I always liked a good scary story, but I loved light as a feather stiff as a board.  I just read about it today, and apparently you’re supposed to tell a story about the person laying down’s untimely death.  And it’s supposed to be the spirits lifting them up.  Um…I forgot that part.  That’s really f’ing creepy.   Maybe we’ll stick to doing makeovers, harassing the first person that falls asleep and eating Doritos. 

What were your favorite slumber party games?