An Open Letter to Starbucks

15 Jun

Starbucks, I love you, I really do.  I don’t mind paying for overpriced coffee every once in a while.  I start to think of it as a treat; something I can only have on special occasions.  For instance if it’s Friday and I’ve had a hard week at work, I’ll run by Starbucks and reward myself with a steamy cup of java. 


I even like your smug names and order process.  It doesn’t seem to matter how I choose to phrase my order, even if it was exactly as you said it the previous time, somehow you’ll find a way to rephrase it to make the way I ordered “wrong.”  But that’s ok.  If today you want to call it a Skinny latte and tomorrow a non-fat latte, I don’t mind. 

I also love slipping that sleeve on my cup as I walk out the door.  Usually the coffee isn’t hot enough to require a sleeve, but I don’t care, it’s a part of the process, so I can’t leave without that sleeve. 

And, I love that I can go there with my nieces and order them a “short hot chocolate” and watch them sip their little Starbucks cup.  But you know what my favorite part is?  The holiday cups.  Love them!  Thanks for that.

However, even though I love you so much Starbucks, there is one thing that I really hate.  I hate that you can’t get my damn name right, and you write the wrong name all over the cup!  Is it weird that a cup that says “Chelsea” on it doesn’t taste as good to me as one that actually gets my name right?  It immediately ruins the whole experience for me.  It makes me feel like all this build up for my Starbucks reward is all for nothing. 

The last time I went there I tried really hard to enunciate my name.  It’s KKKKKeeellllsssssseeeeeyyy.   I even tried to avoid eye contact with the girl who is the main culprit for my ruined Starbucks’ experience, but there she was smiling with the felt-tipped marker in hand just waiting for me to place my order and tell her my name.  So, begrudgingly, I did.  Even with all that effort, I got Chelsea again. It shouldn’t be that hard! 

So please, PLEASE try to pay attention when I’m saying my name, and don’t think I’m a weirdo for loudly enunciating, and avoiding eye contact with you.  I just want my Ventti non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte to have my correct name on it.

Thank you,

Kelsey (though you may know me as “Chelsea”)

3 Responses to “An Open Letter to Starbucks”

  1. Mina 06/15/2010 at 1:10 pm #

    heehee i totally get what you mean about liking the whole “ritual” of starbucks with the sleeve and the holiday cups. i used to get annoyed at the “tall” instead of “small”, “grande” instead of “medium”, etc. and i’m totally with you that it makes the coffee tastes differently when someone else’s name is scrawled across it. makes you feel like you stole someone’s drink.

  2. Holley 07/10/2010 at 6:25 pm #

    Haha, this reminds of that episode of How I Met Your Mother where the coffee shop girl writes “Swarley” on Barney’s coffee and everyone calls him that for the rest of the episode.

  3. trwerner 04/08/2011 at 7:55 am #

    It used to strike me as so magical. A place to get a frozen concoction that I simply could not reproduce, but after an employee was texting while taking my “wrong” order, I haven’t been able to look at the place the same way again.
    If it makes you feel any better, they’ve written “Tommie.”

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